My Good Friend.. Michelle...

What can i say about Michelle.. 

is is a remarkable amazing young lady who (for her age) has been through so so much.

she has started up her own blog on here, you should check it out.. 

She is very talented with her writing, and i really hope that you would check it out

Baileys Mummy's Blog 

I am glad and proud to call her my friend =)

Luv You Girl xxx

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...!!

Today i was taken into town by the bested friend i could ever had asked for, he didnt have to take me out he could had ignored me, but no he didnt, he actually took me out of the house went into town everything..
i didnt buy anything, due to no money - yet.. but i think i got a few ideas for christmas presents either way.
mind u in saying that i recieved my first christmas card and christmas present last night from a friend =) first christmas present from a friend i believe in a very long time.. so i am quite chuffed to be honest, but still i aint gonna open it till christmas.. hehe
I had a bloody snow ball thrown at me from me mate and then i made a mini snow man on the bench lol he was well tiny.. but i couldnt do him properly as my hands were bloody cold...
I was really nervous about getting into town, on the bus i completely forgot what i was doing and where i was going .. and then when i got into town and could see loads of people my head felt heavy and i started feeling faint.. but i was brave and stuck it out and me and my friend went into town, was weird and was fiddling with my sleeves on my coat loads and in shops i was playing with the drawstring bit on the coat that supposed make it tight or loose..
We went around few shops, not many and then went into Morrisons and i got me some doughnuts and chocolate biccies *yum*
On the way home i was clinging onto the seat for dear life, god knows why but i just keep feeling nervous all the time no matter what i do where i go etc. its crazy crazy crazy!!! - i was going to take some pictures but by time we got there it had melted and was all slushy from the various buses and cars going round.. so that was bit disapointing.. but still i got some snaps before.. although thinking about going into the garden and making a snow man - again teehee.

Relationships..

I have a bad history of friendship and relationships..
i tend to fall out with people quite quickly, which again makes things difficult. i have had 3 serious 'boyfriends' in the last 4 years, and each one of them has been pretty much messed up, i am constantly jealous because i know there is better than me out there, so instead of trying to comepete with that anymore, i give up and think whats the point in trying when i never seem to 'win' or come out on top!?
over the last god knows how many years, i have found it hard to interact with people and find it hard to keep and make friends, i used to have to follow teachers around at school which i had done this from a very young age, from i believe i was 5 when i first started infants school is when i started doing it, and things went down hill from there i guess..
i am now 22 and i still to this day have difficulty with friends, people pretty much 'give up' on me because of my attitude and how i act and i guess in a way i can treat people pretty bad, but i dont mean to but i think it because of what i have been used to and bought up knowing from my experiences. either way i am not sure on why or what made this happen to me.
The bedale centre which is our local mental health centre said they would get in touch and let me know what their outcome was for me, and this was said on the 18th of november, ok fair enough it is only what the 7th now, but it is still frustrating on wanting to know the outcome of everything..
People have been offering to help me well some people have been offering to help me, but again i back out because i am worried about letting people know too much for fears of hurting more people other than the ones who already have to put up with me and my behaviours.