Why Does This Have To Be Real...?

Today I have been flicking through my hard drive sorting out some videos to put on to my USB stick that goes into my telly and been flicking through all my old pictures that I have taken over the years and put onto my hard drive to make space on my laptop.

I found some old videos that I kept in a separate folder to go through easier and I was nosing to see what I have stored and came across some videos of Jack my eldest nephew at Christmas at our Grandparents house we all got together for a Christmas meal at my grandparents and didn't realise that you could hear my Grandad in the background. There was other voices as well but I just broke down because it's been almost 10 months since my Grandad died and I miss him so much!

To be honest it still hasn't sunk in properly that he is no longer here, I haven't been to his grave since his funeral back in January because I don't want it to be real so I haven't gone :( I want too because then I can speak to him and tell him I'm sorry I haven't been sooner etc.

Never knew I had this and I am so glad that I always take pictures of everything and everyone and videos too! It felt so good to hear his voice but now I miss him even more if that's even possible!?

At least now, when I miss him and want to hear his voice, I can! Will have to share the videos with my family so they too can hear his voice!

I had all this a few years ago when I was given a DVD of my Nan she was interviewed at St Wilfreds Hospice about the roses that was planted in the gardens and it was originally on video but it finally got transferred to DVD and it had been many years since I last heard my nans voice and I remember how upset I was when I heard her voice for the first time...

Hole In My Shoe

Ha Ha Ha .. LOVE this song right now!!

=)

Rest In Peace x

Tonight, I've learnt that Robin Gibb from The BeeGee's has passed away, from Liver and Colon Cancer.. I've kind of been following his story on the internet news sites reading about it.

Donna Summer, also passed away just 3 days ago, also from Lung Cancer..

Here are a couple of my favourite BeeGee's songs..:

You Win Again:


Celine Dion Feat. Bee Gees - Immortality


I don't know much Donna Summer music, except for this one:

Hot Stuff



Rest In Peace Robin & Donna
<3

Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream

I am currently addicted to this song, I have it playing in my Spotify play list as i type!!

I am going to need to get it and put it on my phone/Ipod!!

I gotta get me one of these..

This is one of the most cutest things i have watched on youtube today!

I love cats & kittens! they're adorable, i dont know what i would do without my cats i have here..

Only trouble is, these videos of kittens are making me broody! 

My Immortal - Evanescence

"I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave

Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me, me, me"

[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/evanescence-lyrics/my-immortal-lyrics.html]






Again, this is another song that means something to me, such a wonderful song and very well expressed, Amy Lee is such a wonderful singer, i dont know what i would do if i had never been entered into the world of 


...EVANESCENCE...


God, I Love This Song...

Seether & Amy Lee - Broken

I love this song, i never really saw myself liking this sort of music, but i ended up enjoying it, but i kinda feel that this song as some meaning to how i feel sometimes,

I am broken...

In more ways than one really, but i cant express myself as to how i think or how i feel as though i am broken, which sucks!
I wish i could, but then how do i know if someone is going to listen, or understand for that matter!!

Still, i love this song, and thought i should share!

Bonfire Night

*** ... Remember, Remember.. The 5th Of November With Gunpowder, Treason The Plot.

I See No Reason Why Gunpowder, Treason Should Never Be Forgot ... ***

Ok, so in the United Kingdom, once a year on the 5th of November, we have what we call a Firework night

(this is for all the people whom are not from UK)

I do not know much about the history of this, but i have some idea.. but then there is always google etc. for gaining the information required.

I didnt have any fireworks tonight, nor did we have a display - or at least what i know of!

But once a year there is a local football club, and they hold them once a year but i dont think it is in November? - i cannot remember.. hehe

But  i know every year when the fair comes to Bognor during July when our carnival is on, they hold fireworks one night, kind of like an opening night i suppose.. and they have a nice display, but i have not been to them in a couple of years, and i took some footage with a mobile phone at the time also...

These videos i took with a mobile phone, so the quality is pants, plus you can actually hear talking in the background of some of these.. just to warn you! lol

There is also a big firework display in August every year after we have our annual Illuminations gala.. which is great!
I was involved with the Gala in 2009.. not this year as few days before the event everyone started falling out and causing problems and upsets, so in the end we just handed it over to the people whom thought it was for them, and their "event" but then, they decided to change their minds at last minute..
Still, there is always better luck next year... i guess!! lol

I have to admit that i love firework displays.. but i dont really get to go to many of them to be honest..

Songs I'm Loving This Week..

i love this video & song.. not sure why? lol still its great..

i Love this song soo much - its even my ringtone on my phone at the moment =)

Enola Gay.. fab song!! LOVE it

Videos I Listen To When Down..

I love this one because it reminds me alot of my Nan, bcoz she wasnt getting better when she had cancer.. plus it is how i feel now, the drugs dont work (well my antidepressants)


I listen to this one alot as it kind of reminds me not how BAD my childhood was, but because of the problems i have had made it difficult