Reality Check..

Today i have realised a few things about myself, a few things that are really stupid, others are silly etc.


I left  my job, the only job i 'loved' and 'enjoyed' all because of my depression, and i felt that i was being singled out because the staff i was working with ended up not liking me, and then thats when and where the problems started.

I worked my last day on the 13th July 2008 and i unfortunatly have not put myself back into the situation of having a job again, for the fear of being rejected, singled out, and ending up with more problems worse or similar to what i went through with Card Factory.

I learnt everything pretty quick, and with the supervisory experience i had working at McColls before hand (twice) they gave me the supervisor job on a sunday within a week of being in Card Factory, i dont think it was the sudden responsibility that changed me, or well maybe a little.. but then bit more of it would had been the christmas part of the job, i had no idea that the shop would be jam packed, busy and very cramped. so i kinda backed out a little and i became ill, with a stupid cold/cough that left me with loosing my voice etc. but then thats when the trouble started properly, i did my best and gave what i could but unfortunatly that wasnt good enough, and a few months later i started getting told
"people arent happy with how you work"
..i couldnt help that i had problems, and i wasnt the only person who used a mobile whilst i worked - in fact half the staff (mainly the younger ones) kept their mobile on them texted behind the tills etc. and because i was already in trouble with my depression - they singled me out! - stupid really.. and if i had been strong enough i would had stood up for myself instead of letting them get to me, and kinda ruin me!
but unfortnatly i stupidly gave in and told them i was going to hand in my notice!

i unfortunatly have let this ruin me and i now have problems with wanting to work for the fear of going through it again!