Well there aint long left now till Christmas Day, and to be honest i am sooo glad, although i wish it would hurry up and get here, be over and done with and then can move onto the new year.. and hope that it is a new year and a new start.
the last couple of days have been like hell.. monday mum comes back from her weekend away wishing she never came home..
and tonight all hell broke loose, as soon as i stepped out shower all i could hear was shouting and arguing and i was just frozen by the front door i couldnt do anything, it was horrible eventually i went into the front room as was cold and it just continued i screamed for everyone stop shouting and arguing but it didnt do much i just got told of for ' being silly ' never mind the atmosphere and arguements and problems are effecting me.. i am starting to feel like i wish i never come home, although now i have to look into getting my own place to get away from everything and everyone, but i am really scared i never lived on my own and i not sure if i really ready - but at the end of the day i have no choice what so ever, i have to do it i got nothing left and noone left and its driving me insane to the point where i have no where to turn.. no one talk to nothing.
things are never going to be ok and no matter how much i want and try i am never going to get the perfect life and the perfect love i dream about.. all i do at night is cry and cry and cry i got so much running around in my head that i cant keep up with anything..
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