Changes = Bad

Well, After not being around properly in almost a year, I've noticed there have been a lot of changes and I am not sure I like it..

But I guess I need to get back into blog writing again before I can truly decide if I like it or not.

Strange how everything's changed drastically over a few months!!

Not sure WHY everyone tries to "fix" things when they're not exactly broken :\

World STOP.. I Wanna Get Off....

Ohh God.. Ohh God.. Ohh GOD...

There is sooo much changing, and sooo much happening that i just cannot keep up any longer..

My head feels like a washing machine on a fast cycle.. Everything jumbling around and round and getting caught up amongst many many other items of clothing inside the washing machine..

It just gives me a big headache and it no fair anymore.. I just cant keep up or allow one thing to enter my head to sort out at just that one time.. and i dont know why!

I really really wish things wasnt so messed up inside my head and was easy to talk about things and allow them to come out and leave and never return, but it doesnt seem to want to work that way and i dont know why :(

Just let me get off now, i'm feeling sick...!!

As if feeling like a washing machine wasn't enough for me, i also feel like i am on a rollercoaster...

A rollercoaster of change..

I know its going to sound really stupid, but i just found out that my dad is now seeing someone also.. and i feel bit odd about it all..

When mum and dad split up i was really unhappy and freightened of what it would mean and become, and worrying about how things would be at home, and how it would be with just Mum, but then dad came home again and it got awkward :( always arguing and saying things to each other and moaning about each other behind their backs!! Awkward

When my mum started  seeing someone not long after dad it didnt feel right, and same with the others after that it didnt feel right, it didnt feel right that dad and mum had split up either :(

But now both of them have someone, and it just feels over.. i dont feel like i am apart of a family anymore, i cant go and say

"I live with my mum and dad and siblings" or "i have a mum and dad" now, its "i live with my mum" and "i have a mum, and a dad"

and then soon, i'll end up with step-parents!!

Why does it have to be so final.. so finished...

Has Been Thinking..

And i feel and think that maybe it is wise that i cut myself off from the world..
Like, hide away in a house all the time, and keep myself away from people, sort of like being locked up in a cell or a room or something, so that i not at risk to people anymore?
I feel strongly that i am just no good of person to be around anymore and i aint wanted nothing..

I hate change, and im scared of what will happen...