9th October

... I know it has been quite a while since i posted, but i have very good reasons for this which i will try to explain as much as possible.

1.
I was being followed on this blog, so i stopped writing for a while because people were making stuff up and saying i had said something - which was untrue!

2.
I didnt feel like posting for a while.. so i started up a new blog talking about my problems and everything, which i will not be linking through to this one for the fear of the people stalking me on this account getting the other one and using everything against me - which i have to say is NOT fair!

3.
The summer wasn't so bad, so i was in the garden doing my garden or out helping friends with small jobs!

But i am going to use this one to talk about everything else, BUT my problems - or upsets as i feel this isn't going to help with people whom don't even know me well judge me based on my past/problems - when them too have problems or similar to what i been through, and yet have ago at me and hurl abuse at me, which is hardly fair!

Bare with me whilst i continue writing this one..

Why Are People Cruel & Heartless....?

Today..

I am being blamed for ruining someones life, when i have done nothing to this person in question.

For months and months and months she has been told where to go and to leave me alone etc. but she ignores mine and tims requests and turning it around to say that he doesnt want me and he wants her etc. and thats how it goes..

Tonight i have been told that i will have killed two babies...

but i genuinly cannot see how i have done this, i am the one who has been recieving messages saying stuff like:

"im going to abort my baby just to keep you happy"

"i am taking all my tablets just to make you happy"

..she keeps threatening me with killing her self etc, and blaming it all on me, i do not understand why...

It aint my fault that tim doesnt want her,

but because she knows of my BPD(borderline personality disorder) & Anxiety & Depression.. she now knows about the baby i have just lost.. etc.

she knows that she can get to me because of the way i am!

she has sent me a picture tonight of what is meant to be her baby ... telling me that it was that that i would be killing!

i am distraught and very mixed up and confused, how can someone put that amount of pressure on someone..

i myself do not know if i am coming or going as it is let alone having some mental case telling me i am killing her baby

i've also recieved endless amounts of threats to be beaten to a pulp... and everything

=(

i am genuinely feeling fed up...

fed up with being threatened to be beaten to a pulp

fed up being the reason why someone is aborting their baby

fed up with being the reason why she has to cause problems

i aint exactly done anything to her, it aint my fault that tim dont want her... is it!?

i am so confused.. distraught.. scared.. mixed up...