Ok well many not "Thank god its friday" but still.. its a different day, right!?
I am slowly getting there after my bad day i had the other day..
Today it has now been 2 weeks since i had the termination.. and i still sit here and think how on earth have i manged to go through it and cope with the last 2 weeks..!?
Still.. i will get some money again soooooonies and i will get to do bit more, may even think about making something for my now angel in heaven in the garden hehe
I missed my blood tests yesterday due to no moneys! :( and my dad didnt get in touch when apparently he was in Barnham Trading Post but didnt bother to let me know he could help me.. bit disappointed to be honest.. but what can you do!?
Spent the last few days indoors, not hiding, but staying as i have been out alot over the last 2 weeks.. but i also staying in due to no funds... so either way it had to be done *boohoo*
Showing posts with label going out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label going out. Show all posts
Friday, March 12
Saturday, March 6
Fun.. Fun.. Fun...
Today after spending the day in bed being ill.. i went out with my other half and his kids! :)
was kinda nice actually.. but have to admit it bit hard, when they not my own! i felt bit sad today because although its good "practise" they aint mine.. and well watching them all 'playfight' etc. it kinda makes me sad because i feel bit like outcast.. probs silly.. just i wish i had a child who wanna play with me.. one of his kids aint too bad... i was getting hugs from one of them and spent the day playing with her.. and pushing around in pushchair..!
I did get some picture's as did my other half and done some funny videos that was cool.. :)
still.. to end this day i got a phone call from the Hospital telling me that they would like me to go back on the 11th for my last (possible final) blood test... just to make sure that my hormone levels go back to normal and there was no problems with my results which means i dont have to have another Injection for the termination because it has done what it was meant to do.. so thats kinda good i guess.
was kinda nice actually.. but have to admit it bit hard, when they not my own! i felt bit sad today because although its good "practise" they aint mine.. and well watching them all 'playfight' etc. it kinda makes me sad because i feel bit like outcast.. probs silly.. just i wish i had a child who wanna play with me.. one of his kids aint too bad... i was getting hugs from one of them and spent the day playing with her.. and pushing around in pushchair..!
I did get some picture's as did my other half and done some funny videos that was cool.. :)
still.. to end this day i got a phone call from the Hospital telling me that they would like me to go back on the 11th for my last (possible final) blood test... just to make sure that my hormone levels go back to normal and there was no problems with my results which means i dont have to have another Injection for the termination because it has done what it was meant to do.. so thats kinda good i guess.
Monday, March 1
1st March
what to say about today....?
had a bad nights sleep... and got up early-ish to go to the hospital for my blood test to see if my hormones are decreasing yet, got my second one thursday and then shall decide if i need the second injection....
and spent the day with the other half in Chichester wondering around bit going in and out of shops
even went to see my mummy at work today =) which was fun!
hasnt been all that bad today, even if i did sit in mcdonalds and i felt sad and i still feel it now writing this, but i should realise and know that i did the right thing, but i still feel and wish that my baby was IN my WOMB and nowhere else and i would be happy and able to say YAY I PREGNANT........... but no!! :(
its hard and i keep upsetting myself half the time, but i just wish that i had my own baby my own chance to do something good and be a mom like everyone else i know!
had a bad nights sleep... and got up early-ish to go to the hospital for my blood test to see if my hormones are decreasing yet, got my second one thursday and then shall decide if i need the second injection....
and spent the day with the other half in Chichester wondering around bit going in and out of shops
even went to see my mummy at work today =) which was fun!
hasnt been all that bad today, even if i did sit in mcdonalds and i felt sad and i still feel it now writing this, but i should realise and know that i did the right thing, but i still feel and wish that my baby was IN my WOMB and nowhere else and i would be happy and able to say YAY I PREGNANT........... but no!! :(
its hard and i keep upsetting myself half the time, but i just wish that i had my own baby my own chance to do something good and be a mom like everyone else i know!
Thursday, February 11
My Friend's Gig...
So, last night i actually went out, i mean went out out ... i went out to the Unicorn Pub in bognor, and watched my friend play his guitar and sing - LIVE!
i have not been out to see him in a long while, due to not going out much and staying indoors.
I really enjoyed it, and he was amazing!!!
i have not been out to see him in a long while, due to not going out much and staying indoors.
I really enjoyed it, and he was amazing!!!
^^ This Is Paul ^^
^^ Michelle & Jenny ^^
^^ This Is Me With Paul ^^
^^ This is a random picture of me, thought i would share ^^
.. i had a really good evening, despite the problems i have within my self at the moment (personal ones) and i couldnt drink because of them, but still i had a good time, and cant wait till it comes about again really..!
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