Sunday, November 14

Mmmm... French Fancies.... *drooools*

Oops.. there goes my last one... 
I bought this packet of 8 in our tesco express just a few days ago, and i manged to go through a whole packet tonight!!
There is 8 in a box :|
Mind you, the ones i bought were called "Frosty Fancies" theses ones were white.. and mmmmm they were sooo scrummy!!!

Only problem i find with them, sometimes, is that they get very sickly after a while! =) But i loves them nevertheless! teehee

So, after eating a box.. and realizing that Mr Kiplings French Fancies are kind of expensive - sometimes - i bought for £1 in Tesco, as i mentioned before...

So, i looked on line, googled french fancies recipe and i think i got one...

"4 packets Asda Smart Price sponge mixture (4 at 27p each) 
4 eggs (94p for 6 = about 60p)
150g butter (£1.36 for 500g = about 50p)
Icing sugar (in the store cupboard – no idea)
A bit of jam (again, going spare in the cupboard)
Vanilla essence (that cupboard really needs a sort out)
3 packets of Asda smart price ready to roll white icing (3 at 48p each)
Pink food colouring (31p)
White writing icing (£1.24)
Asda fondant fancies to dissect, and then devour (98p)


1. After doing a straw poll amongst friends and relatives, the most important features of a French fancy are – a. they’re a cube, b. they have a lump of some as yet undefined squishy stuff on the top, and c. they come in 3 colours.

2. As a Frugal Pimper (as opposed to a Blinging Pimper) I shopped at Asda, and chose mainly Smart Price items. I could have made sponge cake using flour, sugar and so on, but at 27p a packet, and promising to make 2 6 inch sponge cakes, this seemed the most cost effective way. I’m also quite lazy, so I made all 4 packets up with 4 eggs and the right amount of water in a food processor. 

3. As we’ve discussed, the proper fancy is a perfect cube, so a lot of time was spent trying to work out how to make a cube shaped cake. A square cake tin would have been the obvious way to go, but being forgetful (as well as frugal and lazy… god, I’m such a catch) I realised when I got home I’d only got round tins. After discussing whether it would be more ‘pimp’ to make a round fancy, we decided this was a cop-out, and I rose to the challenge.

4. To make a square cake, I had to resort to meat roasting tins lined with tin foil. As these were rectangular, it would need some cutting and pasting later on, but that is what all my years at school studying home economics and physics were surely for.

5. So once the tins were ready, the mixture was whipped, and the oven was pre-heated, the only thing left to do was bake it. Once baked, I left them to cool on some racks, while I thought about how to make a cube

6. While they cooled, I started on making the icing. I chose pink, as the only writing icing I could find was either black or white, and looking at the packet, the only white iced fancy was pink. Logic, you see.

7. Mash the icing with some of the pink food colouring. No idea of the amount I used, but it was very messy, and I ended up with hands like a serial killer for days.

8. After sampling a couple of the fancies (and getting a bit hyper, which reminded me why I steer clear of cake usually…) the creamy stuff seemed to be buttercream, and the packaging stated it was vanilla flavoured. After looking in my trusty Good Housekeeping recipe book, written before I was born and passed down by my dear old Mum, I found a recipe. Would you believe it, buttercream is nothing more than icing sugar and butter. Astonishing. As I couldn’t be bothered waiting for the butter to get soft, I microwaved it for a few seconds, then stirred in the icing sugar, after sieving of course. I then added a bit of vanilla essence for good measure.

9. The trouble with baking cakes in meat tins lined with tin foil, is that they don’t come out very easily. Well, actually, that might have something to do with the fact I forgot to grease the tin foil. Whatever happened, they needed sticking together with some of the creamy icing. I then transferred it onto a board, and cobbled together a cube by sticking bits here and there with sugar free (for the health conscious amongst you) jam. By the end of it, it looked like Frankenstein’s Monstercake.

10. I then dolloped the cream on the top in a big round mound, shaping it with the greatest care as it was already a bit top heavy.

11. By this time, I was beginning to see just how gargantuan this cake was, and was beginning to wonder if I had enough icing. After rolling it out, I could see it was big enough, but couldn’t quite see how to get it on the cake. Taking a deep breath, I folded it over the rolling pin, and dropped it on the cake. Amazingly, it worked, until I realised I’d forgotten the apricot jam to hold it on. Oh well, after a bit of fiddling and trimming off the excess, it looked okay.

12. The final touch was, of course, the lines of white icing going over the fancy. This was pretty easy, as I bought icing already in a tube.

13. As you can see in the comparison shot, it’s about 100 times the size, but still has the trademark lumpy top. The cross section does unfortunately show the lines of jam, but you could argue, as I did to my brother-in-law, that it’s just that little bit more fancy.

14. BUT that’s not all – with the leftover cake, buttercream and icing I didn’t want to waste, I made a sort of stretch French fancy by cutting open the cake, filling it with cream, covering it with icing and piping over some go faster stripes. It tasted pretty good, and was definitely easier to eat than the other one."

Not too bad, it even tells you where to get it, and how much you can make them for!! probably cost more to make, but at least your get a lot more to eat, other than 8 small squares of heaven *drools..* 

Wednesday, November 10

1 Down, 3 More To Go (for now)

Today was the first official session of Coping Skills..
All we talked about was ways of helping me sleep, and things which could stop me from sleeping.
So now i have some 'homework' to do, so i am going to start trying it out tonight, although i am pretty tired from the bad night last night, so i might just get off to sleep ok with out no worries, if i do then i am going to cry!!
But then again, i do have my ipod - that kind of helps.. because i can relax myself and take my mind off things by editing photos or playing games on it..
I had a panic before i left, as i was tired from bad night sleep and constant waking etc. and stressing about what happened in the evening didnt really help matters..
So i didnt actually get out of bed and do something until almost 1pm.. and then finally got ready to leave for 13:30.. until got to the bus stop and saw the buses were up shoot :( 3 buses went past to chichester, but nothing going to Bognor i was like argh.. noo!! i text my friend in a panic but thankfully a bus finally came, as i would had been fooked if i couldn't had got there because of no transport :(
But it turned out ok in the end, just as soon as i got out though i started shaking and felt very light headed as if i was going to faint.. but i didnt i just stood there shivvering as it was soo bloody cold today!! i cant wear anything too heavy under neath my coat/jacket, so i wear a vest top so i dont sweat soo much..
But, i didnt realise it would end up being almost freezing at 3pm lol i wish i had taken a scarf to be honest!!

I need to buy a file to keep all my informations together, so i don't loose it and its all together and i can flick back and forth to stuffs also!
So i guess it would be kinda like going back to school lol

Also mentioned about something i forgot last week to mention was help to get over my ectopic pregnancy because i dont think i can do it on my own, considering it has now been nearly 7months and i just genuinely cannot get it off my mind or stop thinking about and worrying about the way things could've have been.. especially wanting to have been able to have my baby, and wondering how my life would be like with him/her in my life etc.

But i was told i would need counselling through my GP for that, or support groups.. or i could look into the internet for help and talk about it amongst people in similar situations etc.
So i can either wait for the end of my coping skills sessions to work out what would be best, or i can go to my GP or just find support myself..!

Tuesday, November 9

World STOP.. I Wanna Get Off....

Ohh God.. Ohh God.. Ohh GOD...

There is sooo much changing, and sooo much happening that i just cannot keep up any longer..

My head feels like a washing machine on a fast cycle.. Everything jumbling around and round and getting caught up amongst many many other items of clothing inside the washing machine..

It just gives me a big headache and it no fair anymore.. I just cant keep up or allow one thing to enter my head to sort out at just that one time.. and i dont know why!
I really really wish things wasnt so messed up inside my head and was easy to talk about things and allow them to come out and leave and never return, but it doesnt seem to want to work that way and i dont know why :(
Just let me get off now, i'm feeling sick...!!

As if feeling like a washing machine wasn't enough for me, i also feel like i am on a rollercoaster...
A rollercoaster of change..

I know its going to sound really stupid, but i just found out that my dad is now seeing someone also.. and i feel bit odd about it all..
When mum and dad split up i was really unhappy and freightened of what it would mean and become, and worrying about how things would be at home, and how it would be with just Mum, but then dad came home again and it got awkward :( always arguing and saying things to each other and moaning about each other behind their backs!! Awkward
When my mum started  seeing someone not long after dad it didnt feel right, and same with the others after that it didnt feel right, it didnt feel right that dad and mum had split up either :(
But now both of them have someone, and it just feels over.. i dont feel like i am apart of a family anymore, i cant go and say
"I live with my mum and dad and siblings" or "i have a mum and dad" now, its "i live with my mum" and "i have a mum, and a dad"
and then soon, i'll end up with step-parents!!

Why does it have to be so final.. so finished...

Friday, November 5

Bonfire Night

*** ... Remember, Remember.. The 5th Of November With Gunpowder, Treason The Plot.
I See No Reason Why Gunpowder, Treason Should Never Be Forgot ... ***

Ok, so in the United Kingdom, once a year on the 5th of November, we have what we call a Firework night
(this is for all the people whom are not from UK)
I do not know much about the history of this, but i have some idea.. but then there is always google etc. for gaining the information required.

I didnt have any fireworks tonight, nor did we have a display - or at least what i know of!
But once a year there is a local football club, and they hold them once a year but i dont think it is in November? - i cannot remember.. hehe
But  i know every year when the fair comes to Bognor during July when our carnival is on, they hold fireworks one night, kind of like an opening night i suppose.. and they have a nice display, but i have not been to them in a couple of years, and i took some footage with a mobile phone at the time also...

These videos i took with a mobile phone, so the quality is pants, plus you can actually hear talking in the background of some of these.. just to warn you! lol

There is also a big firework display in August every year after we have our annual Illuminations gala.. which is great!
I was involved with the Gala in 2009.. not this year as few days before the event everyone started falling out and causing problems and upsets, so in the end we just handed it over to the people whom thought it was for them, and their "event" but then, they decided to change their minds at last minute..
Still, there is always better luck next year... i guess!! lol

I have to admit that i love firework displays.. but i dont really get to go to many of them to be honest..

Thursday, November 4

The First Step To Changes...

Today i had my appointment at our local mental health center..

Had bit of a restless night, but still managed to get up.. well stay awake this morning lol
I had a few tears and panics before i left, but i managed to get there, in the end!! (i got my brother to meet me and walk me around to the place)
The meeting wasn't too bad, i had a lady whom is new to the profession, and wanted to sit in with me and use me as her project i guess.. i was reluctant at first, but until i was told that it would be extra help and support, i thought well i might as well.. plus i am a tough lil cookie with so much going on.. that i would be a good subject lol just hope that i dont put her off her career :p teehee
After she was introduced to me, we went through a mini questionnaire thing, to point out how much something bothers me, and what is desperate and needs to be looked at.
I don't remember much on this list now, unfortunately :(
but i do know that the most important subjects were
- self harm
- tension release
- sleeping
- anger management
..and quite a few more...
I was asked if i wished to start looking into the program today, but i felt that after the interview as they say that i felt bit full of information and talked all i needed to talk about and left it at that.

I now go to the Bedale Center once a week.. going on a Wednesday afternoon at 2pm.. i start my first session next week. they are going to be easy on me, mind you they'd have to - i not very good with pressure etc. so i would need to start off small..
So next week's session will start talking about sleeping - as thats driving me mad as i cannot sleep and i have been like it for 2 to 3 months now even before i took the anti depressants!!!
I talked about sleeping tablets and how the ones i took the other day "NatraSleep" and the effect they gave me..
So who knows what'll happen!!

But after the session, my brother came and met me again, and then i went back to dads flat with him, and then watched him and his girlfriend playing on the playstation 3 and then finally dragged my brothers arse into town!! lol
I wanted to have a look at external hard drives as my laptop drive is only 100GB and i want bit more space than that externally so i dont keep clogging up my laptop itself as it slows it down all the time.. drives me mad!!
** i hope i didnt embarrass him too much lol My brother should realise that when someone takes ME out its "Special Sammii's Day Out" - like the people that look after special needs peoples.. hehe thats what it like for meeee... so i kept going ooooooh POKEMON and WOW and OMG .. etc! ha ha ha **
All i bought in town in the end was a new art book, as i lost my other one at my house somewhere :( and then a few bits in morrisons..
did a little bit of shopping, mind you most of the shopping was chocolate for meeeeeee =)
i bought:
a pack of 2 doughnuts - they didnt have the custard ones :( so got 2 raspberry ones! lol
2 x kitkat caramel was on off 2 for 70p!!
box of maltesers as was £1
cheapo custard creams
crinkle and thin chips
and curly fries =) yay

Not bad really lol although i shouldnt eat all that really.. i will get fat.....!! ha ha ha ha (NEVER)

Tuesday, November 2

Let It Rip..

Ok.. so tonight i have spent about an hour, maybe bit more on ripping cds into mp3 format for my laptop drive so i can put the musics on to my Ipod Touch

I done the cds i bought in a charity shop the other day (50p i paid each cd)

Blue - All Rise
Offspring - Conspiracy Of One
Offspring Americana
S Club 7 - 7
Savage Garden - Affirmation
Ne-Yo - Year Of The Gentlemen
Keane - Hopes & Fears
No Doubt - The Singles 1992-2003
Crowded House - The Very Best Of
Lemar - Dedicated
Now 31
Street Vibes

Quite a wide selection of music, dont you think lol
I love my music.. what more can i say =)

Mind you, this aint including what sort of music i already have of my Ipod!

Fainting Goat Disease In Kittens..

This is a follow up from my last Blog "Fainting Goat Disease In Kittens.."

I thought i would check back and see what the progress was on Charlie (the tabby) as they'd lost poor little Spike (black n white).
I was shocked and upset to learn that little Charlie also lost his life on 30th October 2010, not long after Spike had battled to keep his.

I found the update on the youtube video, the one i posted in the blog before a couple of days ago, and saw they'd made this memorial video.. its such a shame, and a big loss i feel for the couple whom owned them both and looked after them regardless of the illness..
Such a gorgeous little pair, so loving and affectionate towards them both

I was reading the description again, i couldnt bring myself to watch the video this time around although i had seen it few times before, but the look on their tiny faces was heart breaking enough..
this is what the description said:
" charlie and spike are two kittens with myotonia congenita, otherwise known as 'fainting goat' syndrome. at the slightest sound or movement, the kittens respond by collapsing and falling into a rigid paralysis which lasts about a minute before they return to normal.If a pin drops they drop too. This condition has hardly ever before been diagnosed in a cat, is rarely found in dogs and is more common in goats. The kittens are able to walk, but they cannot run or jump. aside from this they are normal. 
Sad to report that the black and white kitten (spike) died on 27th october from respiratory failure. thanks for all the kind messages. comments enabled once again as duplicate videos are appearing. this is the original
Sunday 31/10 - I'm devastated to report that Charlie (tabby cat ) died in my arms last night. we are in a state of shock and disbelief at this. During the short time we had them, both Charlie and Spike touched our lives in a way that we never expected. We had a plan for treatment with drugs, approved by the Royal Veterinary College at Potters Bar, but there was a worry that the drug might be immediately fatal while the boys were so small. We were due to start on monday. I had prepared a second film which I have now posted to you tube dedicated to their memory. thanks again for all the kind comments you have posted. Ed & Becky x
1/11 update:
a duplicate video appeared on you tube, with gun shot sounds synced to Charlie's falls. I though this was OK initially, but given that Charlie has subsequently died, I requested YT remove it, and they have done so. The RVC were not impressed by it at all. "

I cant believe someone would be so cruel as to do the sound effects on something like this, i mean they didnt ask to be born like it.. unfortuneatly it happened.

   ♥   R.I.P Spike & Charlie