Sunday, October 31

Happy Halloween..

Happy Halloween..

I've nothing planned for tonight, nor do i plan on dressing up...
I have never really had the chance to do all of the 'Halloween Stuff'..

Everyone i see on facebook at the moment is going out with their kids, dressing them up in lil cute outfits and going out 'trick or treating' carving up pumpkins etc etc etc.

I went to a Halloween Party once, in 1998 or 1999 when i was at school, a lad called Tom at school had invited me, I was dressed up like a Witch! (nothing like the picture though lol)
I had everything but the cape, so i made one out of bin liners lol so funny... Never really went to a party like that before, so this was of course my first time... 
I don't remember much i think we went off trick or treating i not sure i cant remember.. but i am sure it was a good night...?

I even tried holding one of my own Halloween parties once, that wasnt too bad.. didnt do anything exciting really, listened to music had some stuff to eat and listening to music, and then went off around the park near where i live and went out for a while - wasnt anything exciting really lol just bit of fun!
Was going to hold one the year after but my dad took ill.. so i wasnt able to do it because dad was rushed to hospital!

Never really did anything like that again, nor was i invited to anything like it...!

Mind you, it is giving me some ideas for what to do next year! may even think of doing another charity event such as the one i held for Cancer May 2009!!
...Least i could plan this one a little bit better than my cancer one... I hope! lol

The Painted Me

OK, so this picture is actually supposed to be ME...

I copied it from the post "The Jigsawed Me.."

I have to admit it is very very hard trying to draw/paint over a real image, and actually get the colours or at least some of the colours correct!!

I look really dodgy, but then again i was using the finger touch pad on my laptop - i couldn't do it with my mouse!!
For a first attempt, it is not toooo bad.. although i do feel like a prat doing it now! but still.. practice makes perfect - or so they say! lol

Still.. at least i gave myself bit more of a figure and bigger/perkier boobs ;) teehee

May stick to picture editing after another try me thinks....

... Don't Judge Me Though ...

Friday, October 29

Happy Halloween..

Ok I Know It Is Bit Early.. And It Is A Bit Stupid And Rubbish.. But Here It Is:

Once upon a time there was a little ghost who wanted to go out haunting for halloween but didnt have anything to wear. So he went to all the other ghosts to see if he could borrow a costume, but he had to stay home because nobody gave a sheet!!

Happy Halloween

The Vagina Song...!

Ok, so i know this is a mad thing to post and talk about, but i think it is wicked.. its sooo catchy!!

Thursday, October 28

" Fainting Goat " in Kittens...


Last night i was flicking through Facebook on my Ipod not long after i turned off my laptop, as i got a notification saying my friend Jacki from the states had sent me a message..
I then went through my News feed to find someone had posted a video called * Fainting Goat Kittens * wondered what it was all about, so i tapped to view the video then opened up full screen.. i watched it and i chuckled and laughed as i thought it was funny...
It wasnt until i after i watched it and read the description and saw that they had a condition i felt really bad, for laughing and bad for the kittens, so i watched it again.. watched thinking at how they must feel at not being able to do anything a normal cat would do like explore etc. because they just cant do anything without fainting every so often that didnt last long...
After watching it the second time i re-read the description this time properly and i saw that the Black & White one, Spike had died from complications due to this illness.. it was very sad, so i watched it again for the 3rd time, and this time my heart opened and out came floods of tears!
They were baby kittens.. soo cute, and to see them together and then hear one of them had died just made my heart break!!!

I thought i would share the video on here, partly because i wanted to express myself about this video.. and because i wanted other people to see this, whom are not on my facebook or have never actually heard about this before!

Still thinking about these two kittens today, i can just see their tiny bodies walk few paces then seize up and fall the floor in a blink of an eye!

♥   R.I.P Spike.. Sleep Well   

The Jigsawed Me...

He He He

Ok, I Admit It.. I Am Weird!!

I dont get much inspiration sometimes, so when it does hit me, i make the most of it!
So tonight i thought about making a jigsaw/collage of me :)
..Technically i WAS thinking about an outfit for Halloween... as i got my multi coloured tutu - the one thats in the pic with few more colours too, i believe!
And i have got that Corset also..

Thinking about making myself .. well attempting to turning my self into a " Gothic Fairy " with really snazzy Gothic make up on.. including a nice new set of fairy wings - as the ones i got are Pink - and are hidden somewhere amongst my bedroom or attic and not sure where they are exactly so i cannot use them :( but however going to see if i can get a nice better pair - or an equivalent..

I have to admit although it is kinda stupid and " sad " what i have done... but i think it looks really cool and different! hehe
When editing pictures on my computer i never really make an image like this, well i never have made an image like this before, ever!! so thought it be a fun new challenge and something else to use to embarrass myself .. but it is cool nevertheless!!

However, at the min, i am in the process of " painting " myself on Paint shop Pro! the idea came up whilst i was trying to edit my hair .. and also the skin tones as i did use two different pictures for the head and body (obviously) but i didnt really have anything to match or be close apart from that, but hey ... practice makes perfect, i guess... hehe!
I will post the other picture when i have done it, as i am sure it is interesting and gives people around the globe something to laugh about, i guess!!

Don't Judge Me Though....

Ohh No... Not AGAIN!!!!

Ok i done something else pretty stupid today - another thing i have managed to upset myself a little bit with - and worry myself with!!

For the last few months i have been feeling pretty crap, as i have hardly had much sleep and i keep having hot and cold flushes during the day sometimes and i have them at night quite a bit..
So me being me, does a Google search with " night sweats " and what comes up.......??


I was like omg.. nooooo!!! and i couldnt work it out to be honest.. i mentioned it some one else and said it could be down to my Ectopic Pregnancy operation i had... but i never heard of that happening before..??

So, i just either going to have to put it down to stress.. or go to a doctor about that also.. but they already gave me a leaflet on Insomnia.. so god knows what is happening to my body... lol but something needs to be done!

Because other week i said i had tiredness, headaches and something else.. and then the first thing that came up this time was....


Of course this upset me.. but i keep forgetting that all the symptoms i have or had experienced are all linked to many other Illnesses but i didnt actually think properly to start off..

This is why i have to be careful with what i do or say because i am bit dopey and i am always believing everything i see written without thinking or paying a great deal of attention!!


Wednesday, October 27

Snow....? In October...?

Yes Its Trueee!!!
Here are some pictures that my friend Jacki from America, whom i talk to on Facebook, since watching the Solar Eclipse, July 2010!!
I was talking to her and many other people on the website chat through Facebook, it was great talking to people over the world,
and from that date, we've been talking ever since on facebook via email mostly - due to the time differences, i believe i am 7 hours in front...
But i do often leave wall comments and stuff during the day, to say hi and stuff!
It really is cool, its like having a Pen Pal - i think? although i have never really had one before, or at least i dont think i did have one..? still.. its pretty neat having someone else to talk to over the " pond " as one might suggest! lol
I think these pictures were taken at her place, and she has informed me via facebook that these pictures were taken about 8am..
Pretty nice pictures i have to say!

I wonder if the UK will get any snow early this year..?
If it keeps getting colder, i wonder if we'll get lucky and get snow at christmas, now that would be great! :)

Tuesday, October 26

NatraSleep Tablets..

The other night i took a tablet to help me sleep, the NatraSleep ones that you can get online and in most stores - i believe...
But, instead of helping me sleep, i was wide awake for HOURS! couldnt work out why neither, but it wasnt until last night we'd decided to READ the box and it says and i quote:


Err.. OOPS.. springs to mind!!!
Mind you most of the time i am always checking the box to make sure what you can and cant take for things, but because i was mega stressed out with this moron texting me and winding me up to the point where i exploded.. i couldnt settle or relax! but instead of helping me relax, this tablet kept me up longer i felt like i was high or hyper or something but i had to keep still as hubby needed his sleep .. so i couldnt keep him awake but i CAN assure you it was VERY difficult for me to be quiet or still for a certain amount of time! 
I wanted to listen to my music on my Ipod - but no the music was " too loud " so instead i surfed Facebook on it for a little while, until i got bored of that and decided to start playing a game and then deleted some stuff and found another game to play etc. etc. etc!!

Maybe next time i will either learn to read first, or just not take anything that may effect or have an effect whilst taking the meds... 

Monday, October 25

Its Official I Am Mad...

Which i think is so so true...

Today i spent about 10-15 mins watching a LadyBird..
It was walking around and around the window, even getting itself caught up in spider's webs, and then untangling itself, even a spider went to go for it..
at which point i was worrying, and hoping the spider doesnt eat him! :(
Was even talking to it too.. but i was actually hoping that it would come into the window but it carried on walking on the black stuffs that keeps the windows in place.. but still it was nice! lol
I hate insects.. and flies etc. but the one insect i am not afraid of, never have is a LadyBird.. i still get jumpy and scared when they fly off my finger/arm etc. but other than that i could sit with lots of them walking over my fingers hands and arms!
I love them.. even if they are weird looking...! - it is true!

Had bit of a weird day today.. The electric run out, and where i am bit funny about going out on my own and walking everywhere i thought i would cheat, and get the bus, thinking it was a good idea - but no, i was wrong! a job that would've taken me almost an hour on foot or approx 30mins by bus, resulted into almost a 2-3 hour journey! lol
45mins + at a bus stop waiting on a bus (3 went the other way)
and about another 30 mins waiting for a bus (which was the same one i got on i have to admit)

Finally got on the bus, and then i gets around the corner and see's my daddy driving the other bus going in the other direction!! i did wave - as he did look at me but dunno if he saw me lol

Friday, October 22

The Sunset In Bognor Town

This was such an amazing site i had to take pictures!!

The sky was filled with clouds but still enabled a gorgeous effect in the sky!

20th October 2010
This was taken from a friend's window in a flat in the town centre..

22nd October 2010
Sitting outside the bus stop after getting off the Star 1 from the Doctors

Pretty aren't they!?

My New Friends Pinkie & Blueie WotWot

This is to welcome my new stuffed friends, big enough to fit in my pocket,

Pinkie & Blueie WotWot!

I bought these two in the Fabulos 99's shop in our town, and fell in love with them both, there was actually 4, but was only allowed to buy 2 =(
When i next in town providing the other 2 are still there, i will get the other two!
This is them both in McDonald's not long after i bought them..
The Blue One on the left = Blueie
The Pink One on the right = Pinkie!!

These are the WotWots!! :)

So cute aren't they, in a weird and wonderful way with their big wide eyes, teehee

I have decided to "Cruise" around and take them with me everywhere i go, and take photos of them in strange and wonderful places... hey.. least it is something to keep me occupied i guess, even if i is childish! ha ha i have few more photos but i am not sure if i should share on here, or on facebook!!!
I would really like to see if i can get them over the world, how amazing would that be, i can send them out to people over the world, starting with people in the UK and going from there, then they'd get to see the world. and they'd have to post the pictures on facebook and stuffs so can see their current location etc.
Now that would be amazing....

Monday, October 11

My Life..

I've been thinking about a great deal of things over the last 9 months or so, not just because of the ectopic i had, but because of other things, well other people instead..
I have looked at what i have been through from what i can remember from when i was kid, and to be honest there isn't much that i do remember, or recall.. but what people have said, i can see as if it were on video tape.. other stuff just seems to haunt me..
The last 3 years or so have been a bit mixed up...
2007 - i got with a bloke called Gary - he was bit dippy, and kinda ended up being bit like a maid doing his washing most of the time - which admittedly wasn't much as he wore same pants for days :| cripes!!!
In July time, i started seeing some lad whom i talk to a lot called James, he was lovely bless him! and strangely enough are still friends to this date! :D
Eventually i got back with Oli, he was my first REAL boyfriend, we broke up in 2006 as i was moving back to Bognor and wanted a fresh start blah blah blah...!! lol but eventually i realized i didnt feel the same for him as he did for me, or the feelings that i did have wasn't strong enough, so i let him go! apart of me wishes i hadn't another part thinks its for the best!
Since then, everything seemed to had gone down hill! :(
September 2007 i got a job in Card Factory, and i loved it! it was fun and interesting and new and i ended up getting to be a Supervisor and left in charge on sunday - again something else i loved! Until Christmas came! i was sooo ill over christmas it was horrible! :( - and this is where everything started boiling up again! the store was packed with people buying christmas cards and small gifts etc. and it didnt help when i ended up getting the flu with a bad cough and still having to work! - i did let down alot of people there which i couldn't or didnt mean to do just happened but i couldnt cope and didnt have the heart to admit it or tell anyone! - was awful.. then came along the "suicidal attempt" in march 2008 - not been as bad since (touch wood) but have done it since..
I ended up giving up my job at card factory because of my behaviour, being picked on by staff and an incident with someone causing me problems didnt help! i didnt know what else to do, so i had to give up and let the other people win, i am not really a fighter.. i am more of a giver up person!
Since these incidents i have not worked in 2 years! 2 years!!! its awful.. it really is! but i just cant cope with myself, let alone trying to keep a job - again! i am not the person whom i was and this Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression and Anxiety problems are holding me back - which i cannot stop.. because i know there is something wrong with me and being out and about with these problems and by myself scare me! so i just keep myself to myself and normally keep my problems to my self!.. but i need to " talk " let go of some " release " and feel bit better - although knowing me i wish i hadn't done or said anything, which would then lead me into deleting this post, if need be!
but then again, i dont really know why i post my thoughts and feelings and upset on this blog, when there are people out there whom follow me around the internet, watching me and my every moves - and i dont know why! there is nothing fascinating about me, so i dont know why everyone feels the need to stalk me online! lol idiots...!!!

anyway i think i done enough talking (typing) for one day/night (started last night) and leave it as it is, for now!

Saturday, October 9

9th October

... I know it has been quite a while since i posted, but i have very good reasons for this which i will try to explain as much as possible.

I was being followed on this blog, so i stopped writing for a while because people were making stuff up and saying i had said something - which was untrue!

I didnt feel like posting for a while.. so i started up a new blog talking about my problems and everything, which i will not be linking through to this one for the fear of the people stalking me on this account getting the other one and using everything against me - which i have to say is NOT fair!

The summer wasn't so bad, so i was in the garden doing my garden or out helping friends with small jobs!

But i am going to use this one to talk about everything else, BUT my problems - or upsets as i feel this isn't going to help with people whom don't even know me well judge me based on my past/problems - when them too have problems or similar to what i been through, and yet have ago at me and hurl abuse at me, which is hardly fair!

Bare with me whilst i continue writing this one..