The First Step To Changes...

Today i had my appointment at our local mental health center..

Had bit of a restless night, but still managed to get up.. well stay awake this morning lol
I had a few tears and panics before i left, but i managed to get there, in the end!! (i got my brother to meet me and walk me around to the place)
The meeting wasn't too bad, i had a lady whom is new to the profession, and wanted to sit in with me and use me as her project i guess.. i was reluctant at first, but until i was told that it would be extra help and support, i thought well i might as well.. plus i am a tough lil cookie with so much going on.. that i would be a good subject lol just hope that i dont put her off her career :p teehee
After she was introduced to me, we went through a mini questionnaire thing, to point out how much something bothers me, and what is desperate and needs to be looked at.
I don't remember much on this list now, unfortunately :(
but i do know that the most important subjects were
- self harm
- tension release
- sleeping
- anger management
..and quite a few more...
I was asked if i wished to start looking into the program today, but i felt that after the interview as they say that i felt bit full of information and talked all i needed to talk about and left it at that.

I now go to the Bedale Center once a week.. going on a Wednesday afternoon at 2pm.. i start my first session next week. they are going to be easy on me, mind you they'd have to - i not very good with pressure etc. so i would need to start off small..
So next week's session will start talking about sleeping - as thats driving me mad as i cannot sleep and i have been like it for 2 to 3 months now even before i took the anti depressants!!!
I talked about sleeping tablets and how the ones i took the other day "NatraSleep" and the effect they gave me..
So who knows what'll happen!!

But after the session, my brother came and met me again, and then i went back to dads flat with him, and then watched him and his girlfriend playing on the playstation 3 and then finally dragged my brothers arse into town!! lol
I wanted to have a look at external hard drives as my laptop drive is only 100GB and i want bit more space than that externally so i dont keep clogging up my laptop itself as it slows it down all the time.. drives me mad!!
** i hope i didnt embarrass him too much lol My brother should realise that when someone takes ME out its "Special Sammii's Day Out" - like the people that look after special needs peoples.. hehe thats what it like for meeee... so i kept going ooooooh POKEMON and WOW and OMG .. etc! ha ha ha **
All i bought in town in the end was a new art book, as i lost my other one at my house somewhere :( and then a few bits in morrisons..
did a little bit of shopping, mind you most of the shopping was chocolate for meeeeeee =)
i bought:
a pack of 2 doughnuts - they didnt have the custard ones :( so got 2 raspberry ones! lol
2 x kitkat caramel was on off 2 for 70p!!
box of maltesers as was £1
cheapo custard creams
crinkle and thin chips
and curly fries =) yay

Not bad really lol although i shouldnt eat all that really.. i will get fat.....!! ha ha ha ha (NEVER)

I Love The Cake..

I was just thinking about the sweets things i like to eat, and ohh how i would LOVE to eat a bit of sponge cake like this one...

one smothered in coconuts (you can also get them in Co-op from buying myself)

 

or maybe even some chocolate sponge cake

now doesnt that look fantastically delishous???

...i now need to learn to start making cakes! - i am a big fan and it could end up being cheaper in the long run, but who knows...

Yummy Maltesers..

 

I love maltesers.. i bought a couple of packets whilst i was out on my travels in town yesterday, and i am now at 06:30am eating another packet, i am awake anyway due to nervousness about today (got interview thing for my benefits) and because i dont feel 100% (again *grr*)  - all it is is the sniffles things (i hope)

I have had a cigarette and i still feel sicky inside along with the butterfly feelings i get when nervous..

Back to Maltesers...

When i eat Maltesers, i think i eat them differently to others, maybe? - not sure ..

I suck the outside - break the chocolate coating off so it crumbles in my mouth, and then i suck the honeycomb thing inside and let it crumble in my mouth, and there you go... 

thats how i eat mine! lol